Let’s talk about my favorite subject for a second…poop. Why is poop so taboo? I mean, if you read this there is a good chance you thought I was kidding after the first sentence. I’m not. Then when I told you I wasn’t, you might have been like, “No, seriously, she’s kidding” but I am still not kidding.
Newsflash: EVERYBODY POOPS. It isn’t just the title of a book, it is a way of life. Deal with it. Sometimes it is uncomfortable, literally, but it happens everyday to everybody (unless you have problems with your colon, in that case, eat more fiber). When you disappear for long periods of time to the bathroom people know what you’re doing, or assume that is what you are doing even if you aren’t. Just embrace it.
See, I am thankful for college dorming. I can now do my business wherever and whenever I need to without shame. If I learned nothing else from college (I did, I learned how to run a smooth board and about Saturday Night Fish Fry) at least I walked away with this important and necessary skill. So rather than be a prude about it, I embrace it and acknowledge how humorous it is.
I mean, just look at the word poop. 2 letters. It even looks funny. I can’t not look at that and chuckle. If you flip it upside down, it’s boob. I MEAN COME ON! Could a word get better than that? YES! Flip it horizontally and it is dood. That is all you need in life; poop, boobs, and your doods.
I also grew up in a house where poop was always funny so I still firmly hold onto this belief. I say, stop making it so taboo. You do it, I do it, your boyfriend does it, your girlfriend does it, your mom does it.
Embrace the poo!
And then, then there is Doo Doo Brown. And loads and loads of jokes. I mean, just right here duty, loads. It’s fucking incredible.
I also am a firm believer that poop can determine true love. That is actually why I thought to write this post. Someone said that a relationship fizzles out when a dude poops with the door open. I think that is the epitome of love right there. When you are comfortable enough to do your business with the door open, that is saying, “Hey baby, I am comfortable with you being a part of this most intimate moment”. Or, it is just awesome to never have to close any doors. I am lazy and that is more work. It is like being able to walk around naked. Ahhhhh life before roommates.
There is one instance, well, ok, more than one when poop is not funny.
1. Diarrhea- this is only true when it is happening to you. And at the time it happens. When it is someone else, it is funny. When it is in the past, it is funny.
2. Babies- Nothing is funny about baby poop. Unless it actually chocolate melted in a diaper for a baby shower. It isn’t really funny then, but I like to win so I enjoy ALL games.