Let’s talk about THE PAST. Dun dun dun. We can also talk about the future too, because everyone always seems to want to know what I will be doing in the future, and when I say I am just enjoying the present, they look at me disdainfully. I have spent a lot of time worrying about the future, and I mean A LOT of time with my stomach in knots and shedding some damn tears. And you know what good that did? NONE! Yes, I get that I should have a plan, and I have general direction, but I am just taking life on step at a time. Current step = school. Next step doesn’t happen for a year. Deal with it and stop being judgmental. Jerk.
But, back to the past. If we knew each other in high school/the first two years of college, then you know the story of my “love” life. We can relate it to Chelsea from Teen Mom 2 (yep, going there). No matter how big of a jerk he is to her, she just keeps going back. That was me (you’re getting Swifted right now, sorry bout cha) and I often think, “Why the hell would I do that to myself?” or “What would have happened had you dated someone else instead of him at some point in the 4 years this happened?” But I realize now that all those damn quotes that lame chicks (sorry) post about people in your past being there for a reason are TRUE. Maybe I would have ended up an even better person had I severed ties earlier, maybe I’d be married with kids (…refer to earlier blog post about this. Still holds true. Gross). The person you are now is all relative to the actions that you took in the past, the people you let into your life, and rather you…so I got to this point and contemplated just deleting this blog post. I don’t know if it makes any sense, but obviously I am writing it so I believe it to be true on some level. So I will just keep writing.
Basically the moral of the story is, you can’t live your life by things you did and didn’t do in the past. They happened/or didn’t happen and they made you who you are now. So maybe, just maybe, however you handled things, even if you regret it now, was how you were supposed to handle it to get to where you are now. Sometimes people are cool and then they suck. Oh well. At least they were cool for the majority of your friendship or relationship and you have some memories of awesome trips you took and times you hung out. Their are lots of people who, if I saw them today I would want to punch them, but who will also always hold a special place in my heart.
Shit, I am too lazy and can’t focus to finish this. So, the present= live in it. We spend too much time regretting the past or worrying about the future. The present is like the middle child who only gets love until the next kid comes…
The future: Plan for it, but don’t be afraid of it. If you live in the present and are mindful of the future, it’ll work itself out.