Observations about the Great City of Portland

So I moved to the Mississippi Ave area a few days ago and I have been making observations about Portland and life in general as I settle in hurr. Here are some of them:

1. Things taste better out of a mason jar. Fact. I wanted to go to a bar that served drinks from them, but I don’t know which ones do. The bar we chose did not, however they did have fun hammock seats so I guess that is a win. Then I went to Michaels to get my craft on and they had mason jars in the middle of an aisle on a display. Did this girl buy one? Damn right she did.

2. Speaking of getting my craft on, I have learned that nothing comes out as well as it appears on Pinterest. Pinterest is a gem of a place to discover tricks and ideas for DIY projects but they will never look as good as the professionals that actually made it and then created the instructions. Therefore, Pinterest is also the devil. Probably why there is a website called pinterestfail.com

3. People in Portland don’t like to throw stuff away. They like to put it in boxes and leave it on the side of a road for people to rummage through. So weird. In fact, I saw two pairs of boxer briefs in the road today while walking Tim. Just throw that ish away. No one wants undies in their street…unless they are still in the Victoria’s Secret bag with tags and in my size. Then feel free to leave those lying around.

4. On the issue of Tim, he is so weird. He is scared of fans apparently too. He loves air conditioners. After his walks in Indiana he would plop right in front of the vent and cool off. Apparently he doesn’t understand that a fan does the same thing…dummy.

5. Colorful houses are awesome. There is a purple and orange one that I love down the street. The more color the better.

6. Purple and orange go great together. I am talking more like a plum and a burnt sienna, which I might have just made up but it sounds good so I am rolling with it.

7. Neighborhoods in Portland are weird. They go from like 3 nice house to one dilapidated house to a few nice ones and then a bunch of crappy ones. It makes it hard to tell if the neighborhood is nice or not. Sometimes I think people think they have decorated their house by putting a bunch of random shit in the yard and they don’t realize it just looks like poo.

8. The 405 blows unless it is past 7 pm. Stupid highway.

9. On that note, Oregon drivers are the worst drivers IN THE WORLD.

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