I suck at blogging lately. I suck at everything lately, mostly by choice. Working a lot just makes me a bum. I just want to go home and sit on a couch and watch tv and be a, well, I will say it again, a bum. But that is beside the point because here i am writing a blog.
I do not pretend to know anything about life. In fact, I have learned to stop planning for anything and let it come to me. I want to move to Cali and get a sweet job when school is over, but I am not going to worry about it until school is nearing it’s end. Old Jenna would have already been looking for the best places to live and jobs open now, which makes no sense, at least the latter part. There really is no point in worrying or planning super far ahead because shit happens. Good shit, bad shit, mediocre shit. It just happens. And it derails plans.
I have spent a lot of time worrying and losing happiness over things that I either had no control over or that never even happened. Things are going to happen or not happen regardless of me or anyone else worrying about them, so there’s no point. Stop worrying and start enjoying things more.
On that note, people always tell me to be careful. I never am. I never really have been. Where is being careful ever going to get me in life, except for AIDS free, which I am careful when it comes to that respect so don’t you fret. There will ALWAYS be someone who wants to weigh in on what you do with YOUR life. There will ALWAYS be someone who doesn’t support a decision you make. Forget them. They aren’t living your life and what is right for you might not be right for them. I am re-dating an ex boyfriend who I credited with ruining my life. I NEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER (and yes, the emphasis on never is necessary) imagined I would even want to talk to ever again. Tell me it is dumb all you want. A. I don’t listen, and never really have listened to anyone when they tell me what not to do (in fact, it makes me want to do things even more) B. It makes me happy right now. I might not be around long enough in this life to becomes unhappy with the situation or it might keep making me happy. I think both of those are good reasons to act on things. You should never not do something because at some point it might end up not being as good as it started out. That is just dumb. I hate dumb things and dumb people so you should stay on my good side and give things that make you happy a chance. Unless it is meth, don’t give that a chance. That will inevitably end poorly for you.
Life seems long, but think of where you are already. It flies by. It is short. So I think that both me and you should grab onto things and people that make us happy. They might not always make us happy, but there will be some memories there that will always put a smile back on your face. And when people try to talk you out of that happiness, look them square in the eyes, poke them in the forehead, and just say “No”. It will weird them out and shut them up. Then walk away without saying anything else. (Note to self: definitely do this in the near future). They are either worrying for you, which as I have already mentioned won’t help any situation, or they are jealous. No one can know what is good for you except for you. And half the time you won’t even know until it happens. People will always want to judge you and do so on what they think the situation is. Which makes complete sense since they have lived your life and no everything about you…
So bottom line. Just live. Live and do stuff that makes you happy. Surround yourself with people that make you happy. Don’t apologize for it and don’t feel like you owe anyone an explanation. Tell them to live their own lives, and to do it happily. Like a boss.