Side note, remember when MTV’s True Life used to be kind of good? It’s not anymore, just try to watch the episode called “I am too Beautiful”. Hot mess.
So at this point, this post is worth $18 because it is the first one I have done all year, and that is the annual cost of owning a website. I am the worst. I have been a big ball of frustration and irritation mixed with sadness and doubt which made me ignore my blog because I didn’t want to try to write that all out, but here we are. So, here is a list of my first world problems (aka things that frustrate me from least to most).
1. Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take the Wheel”. It just came on and it’s the first time I have listened to it. Your car skids out and you take your hands off the wheel with a baby in the back?! Good call. If Jesus exists, does he even have hands…he might not. You don’t know.
2. Decaf coffee. Why do you exist? Get out of here. You’re drunk.
3. My dog. He needs to learn how to walk and ain’t nobody got time to teach him.
4. Facebook. I deactivated my account…again. You took another 120 pictures of your kid? Great. You have an uninformed political opinion? Can’t wait. You lost a lot of weight drinking meal replacement shakes? That’s not a lifestyle for me. Goodbye.
5. Youtube videos that have interludes or sound effects over the music. I’m not even WATCHING the video. Just let me hear the damn song…oh no, I am old.
6. The gym. You need an area for free weights. End of story.
7. Arrogant people. Especially ones who don’t actually do the work and play it off like they did. I don’t need to hear you bring your opinion about something you did on an unrelated project into this. You are not a professional yet, so stop acting like it and discrediting people who have spent decades in the field.
8. Friends. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have any. There is a lot of “Oh we will get together!” and then it never happens. Granted, I am really bad at following through, but up until Friday I had 2 jobs, worked as a teaching assistant, had school, AND a child covered in fur to take care of. I am not going to leave him all day and then not shower him with love and kisses when I get home. Sometimes I just wish I had a west coast Archana to come over, eat cheese, and watching a movie or an entire season of SVU. Or someone that just understood my body and my brain .
9. School. Is it over yet?! I have never felt like such an idiot. I am constantly surrounded by people who live for research and academic articles. It is not my forte. It is not my passion. Sometimes when I throw an opinion in the ring, people just toss it out because I am the dumb one (a title I have given myself). Sometimes, I am actually right though. My brain works in a different way. It doesn’t take in information unless it has a date and a concrete meaning that is not written in obnoxious giant words no one uses in conversation. What is my passion? I don’t know. That is why I am in school. It’s a vicious cycle.
10. My relationship. I totally thought I was going to be a baller who could handle long distance. Don’t get me wrong, I need the time for homework and thesis, if he were here I am not sure it would get done in a timely manner. However, I am one of the busiest people ever. He is one of the busiest people ever. Our schedules overlap. He falls asleep ALL OF THE GOD DAMN TIME and we miss phone calls. It is rough. Way harder than I thought it would be. And sometimes I feel a disconnect in our communication, but I guess that is bound to happen when all you have is what comes through the phone.
11. My brain. It hates me. It has retained all the information it can and refuses to take in anymore. It doesn’t understand things it should. It jumps to conclusions. It makes me feel sad. It makes me feel frustrated. It makes me feel irritated. It makes me feel alone. It makes me want social activity but not want it at the exact same time.
But what can you do? Pretend to be Lzzy Hale when you are driving to release some of the tension swimming in your stomach.
Write a blog to help articulate the thoughts that are prominent in your brain. Delete Facebook. Bug friends until someone agrees to hang out with. Bribe your dog with treats. Repeatedly try to explain to your significant other how rough shit is. Scoff at people who drink decaf. Write Carrie Underwood a strongly worded letter about how she shouldn’t have recorded that song. Try to block out the arrogant people and realize you only have to deal with them for a little while longer. Stay on top of your studies and remember that if you work hard and get it done you will be a Master of something. And focus on the fact that good things come along and one day you can get Tim a brother or sister.